I love my family, but…

…to be honest I hate spending a lot of time with my mom, sister, my step-mom, step-brother, and even my dad now because I have changed so much over the years that going back to this makes being my new self a lot harder. If this doesn’t make sense then whatever, but it’s just hard.

After I spend elongated amounts of time with my mom I get so irritated by everything she does (to the point of her chewing something in my vicinity) I could scream.

After I spend elongated amounts of time with my sister I get so fed up with her lack of confrontation with me that we end up fighting a lot because she feels like I don’t validate her feelings and I feel like I have no idea what she’s talking about because she never tells me this/confronts me and then I’m sitting there not knowing what to do with all the shit…

I hate my step-mom because she’s a grade A bitch.

My step brother is great, but spoiled as hell because my step-mom’s a bitch and my dad’s a pushover when it comes to her.

My dad and I have always had a great relationship, but ever since he got remarried 5 years ago I have felt less and less connected to him. I am more like him than my mom and sister, which is why I fight with both of them. I am more like his side of the family in general. However, my dad has changed a lot in the sense that he no longer stands up for what is actually right in a lot of situations involving me and it’s gotten to a point where I’m so sick and tired of having to defend myself to him because he’s made assumptions and whatnot that it’s driving me insane.

Whenever I get together with family for more than just a day I feel like I don’t belong, and I end up feeling really shitty about myself in general. I know I’ve had some really good things come out of this weekend, but today has been too long and too down, and now I just feel like I’m not the person I thought I’ve worked so hard to become, and I fucking hate that.









#my environmental science teacher was demonstrating how pumice can float#so she just went around the room dropping them into people’s water bottles#but one of them didn’t float#so then she lit a match and dropped it into the bottle#and it blew up#that’s how we found out that the kid was drinking alcohol at school x





Band snapchats are the best snapchats

Godzilla Eats Las Vegas is best band piece

Please tell me this isn’t the flute part

Its piccolo



here is a thing



here is a thing



Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.


  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.
15, 33, 40

Talk about the time you were most content in life:

I would have to say I was at my most content last year. I was working closely with one of my professors; I was doing really well in all my courses; I was going to musicological conferences, chapter meetings, and symposiums; and I was confident about what I was doing with my life and my time. It was one of my best years yet. I was definitely stressed, but it was good stress. Everything about last year ended up really just falling into place neatly and nicely when it needed to, and no matter what was stressing me out, I figured it out in the end. I also felt incredibly confident in my friendships and content with those. It was just a really incredible year for me all around.

Talk about what you do when you are sad:

The first thing I do when I am sad is try to figure out whether it’s sadness or depression, and why I might be feeling this way. I allow myself a certain amount of time to be sad, and then I try to get myself out of it by exercising, cleaning, going out, finding friends to meet up with, finding someone to talk to about it, and promising myself I will heal over time and that I need to be patient. Although it sounds smooth, this is never actually a smooth process, but it does work in helping me better understand myself and to overcome sadness as efficiently (for me) as possible. When I am letting myself wallow for a while (which I think is incredibly important for eventual recovery as long as you don’t get stuck in that state), I watch TV or movies, I tumble, I find music that speaks to these emotions and I listen to it CONSTANTLY, and I cry (a lot) in order to let myself truly feel what I’m feeling. I think it’s really important to allow ourselves to actually feel things, because so often we’re trying to protect ourselves from emotions, and I don’t think that does one bit of good in the end.

Talk about the end of something in your life:

This is the perfect time for me to talk about this (which I’m sure is why you picked it haha), as I’m about to finally graduate from my six-year-long undergrad in June. Endings for me are always bittersweet moments, no matter how ready or prepared I am for the finish line. This degree has been a roller coaster of highs and lows for me. I have grown EXPONENTIALLY as a friend, a family member, an adult, and just a human being in general. I have developed some of the most amazing insights into my life, my intelligence, my abilities, and where I want to head in my life/in my future career. I have learned what I do and do not need out of friendships and relationships. I have learned that I AM smart and that I CAN prove it to anyone whom I wish to do so. Although I have had some very low lows while I have been in this process, I have learned so much from each of these moments in my life, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. I may be ready to graduate, I may be extremely burnt out and tired as hell, but I will miss the process, and I will be sad about the ending. Endings for me are just the start of a new “chapter”, and that’s really exciting. However, it’s also the closing of one of the rawest, realest experiences in my life, and I will remain forever grateful for the support, kindness, and caring of those who have supported me along the way. I am ready, but I am also prepared to do a lot of crying while I write the last few pages of this book in the series, because the last couple of pages are always the hardest.



so i’m watching some show on syfy about nerd weddings

and there’s this woman going on about how she wants a GoT themed wedding

and i’m just like

are you sure

are you really sure about that

Did she read the books or watch the show or…?

I mean…did she really think that one through?





whenever people say they dont like cats because they dont happily greet you at the door i give them the stinkiest eye


OMG as it meows down the stairs.

My Dakota was like this.  In fact, he ran to the door as soon as he heard the car in the driveway and would meow frantically at us as we tried to unlock it.

Didn’t matter if we’d been gone 2 hours or 2 days, he always seemed to think we’d left him FOREVAR.

Thank you!

Thank you!