…to be honest I hate spending a lot of time with my mom, sister, my step-mom, step-brother, and even my dad now because I have changed so much over the years that going back to this makes being my new self a lot harder. If this doesn’t make sense then whatever, but it’s just hard.
After I spend elongated amounts of time with my mom I get so irritated by everything she does (to the point of her chewing something in my vicinity) I could scream.
After I spend elongated amounts of time with my sister I get so fed up with her lack of confrontation with me that we end up fighting a lot because she feels like I don’t validate her feelings and I feel like I have no idea what she’s talking about because she never tells me this/confronts me and then I’m sitting there not knowing what to do with all the shit…
I hate my step-mom because she’s a grade A bitch.
My step brother is great, but spoiled as hell because my step-mom’s a bitch and my dad’s a pushover when it comes to her.
My dad and I have always had a great relationship, but ever since he got remarried 5 years ago I have felt less and less connected to him. I am more like him than my mom and sister, which is why I fight with both of them. I am more like his side of the family in general. However, my dad has changed a lot in the sense that he no longer stands up for what is actually right in a lot of situations involving me and it’s gotten to a point where I’m so sick and tired of having to defend myself to him because he’s made assumptions and whatnot that it’s driving me insane.
Whenever I get together with family for more than just a day I feel like I don’t belong, and I end up feeling really shitty about myself in general. I know I’ve had some really good things come out of this weekend, but today has been too long and too down, and now I just feel like I’m not the person I thought I’ve worked so hard to become, and I fucking hate that.